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What are some funny and smart quotes?

08.06.2025 03:47

What are some funny and smart quotes?

“It’s a little known fact that pigs are the smartest animal. Scientists say that if pigs had thumbs and a language that they could be trained to do manual labor. They give you 20 to 30 years of loyal service and then at their retirement dinner, you can eat them.”

“Ah just like all women. If they’re not turning down your proposal of marriage, they”re accusing you of suspicious behavior in the lingerie changing room.”

“The human brain can only operate as fast as its slowest brain cells. Too much alcohol kills brain cells, especially the slower, weaker ones. So, regular consumption of beer eliminates the slower brain cells after you’ve had a few beers which will speed up your brain.”

My son died seven months ago at the age of 24 how do I know if he’s in heaven and can he see me and hear me and why have I not gotten any signs yet from him or Mom just not seeing the signs how do I know if he’s OK how do I know if he’s happy?

“There is no rule against postal workers dating women. It just works out that way.”

My sister Tracy sent me these a little while ago. I thought I’d share them. Thanks Trace.

“Everyone in the Swiss Army owns a Swiss Army knife. That’s why no one messes with Switzerland.”

Asian Stocks Start Cautious, Dollar Holds Drop: Markets Wrap - Bloomberg

Few people had funnier or smarter quotes than Cliff Clavin from the TV show, Cheers.

“It’s a little known fact that the tan became popular in the Bronze Age.”

They did a study between postal workers and chimpanze...

Why do US military soldiers/officers have a chest full of medal ribbons when they probably haven't been in a combat situation? Are the medals for attendance, good behaviour, or long service perhaps?

“A Freudian slip is when you say one thing when you’re really thinking about a mother.”